HE BRUSHED the Centenary Ball and now Arthur Beetson will do the same to his Queensland brethren when the Maroons name their team of the century. Invites to the black-tie dinner at the Brisbane Convention and Exhibition Centre on June 10 - the day before Origin II at Suncorp Stadium - were sent last week and Queensland Rugby League general manager Ross Livermore told us he was hopeful Beetson would be in attendance. No chance, says Big Artie. "Mate, I'm a bushie not a ballroom dancer," he said. "I've got a charity function that night anyway, but I wouldn't have gone. I don't go to these events, and I'm not happy with some of the things happening in the game." Beetson and Peter Sterling - who were both roundly criticised for missing the Centenary Ball in Sydney earlier this month - spoke at length on ABC Radio yesterday about the ills of the game.

Babies on board

Forget about Underbelly for a moment. The size of former sprint queen Jane Flemming's big, beautiful baby bump had tongues a'waggin' in the Emirates marquee at Royal Randwick on Saturday. The Commonwealth Games champ is having twins to her boyfriend Ian Purchas and our Moet-guzzling operative reported she was "about to pop - but she looked beautiful". Over at the lawn party, Roosters players were seen drowning their sorrows following their loss to the Dragons the day before. Hardly any of them backed a winner, we're told. That said, they're not the Lone Rangers this autumn: Enarelle, the filly raced by a syndicate of St George Illawarra players headed by Mark Gasnier, finished fourth in the last race of the day.

Eye of the Storm

Cowboys boss Peter Parr will launch an investigation into why someone played Big Girls Don't Cry when Melbourne star Billy Slater left the field with that horrendous eye injury at Dairy Farmers Stadium. "I wasn't aware if it, I didn't hear it, but I will look into it," Parr said. "If it is the case, I will be talking to our event managers about it, because if that's true, it's completely unacceptable … and I'll be making them aware of that." Just to clarify, it was the Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons classic and not the one by Fergie that's on high rotation at blue-light discos around the country. After the Anzac Day clash on Friday, some thought the Cold Chisel classic Khe Sanh was a curious choice to play after the match.

Scribes out in the cold

Cronulla have been whingeing about the media coverage the club has received of late, especially in light of Paul Gallen's questionable antics last month. But gauging the reaction of the press corp about their "enhanced facilities" in the Government's handout of a $10 million grant, it might be wishful thinking that things will change. The print media, previously squashed in an enclosed box, have now been relocated outside - some out in the open - without lighting or access to television replays. Those trying to file, or talk, can't be heard over the screaming ground announcer. Some fans are so close they could effectively reach over and rewrite some journos' copy. Sounds like a job for the newly formed Rugby League Writers' Association. "It's at the top of our agenda," RLWA secretary Brent Read told us exclusively. Last Monday night, some scribes were pelted with bottles while sitting in the open-air box at Canberra Stadium after the Raiders-Storm match.

Anyone got a pen?

The Wests Tigers are on the hunt for a new chief executive to replace Steve Noyce, and don't be surprised if they turn their attention to the Sharks' Tony Zappia. It defies belief but the Sharks have not signed Zappia to a contract, so he can walk out the door whenever he wants. The former Parramatta football manager has impressed many in the Shire in his first five months in the job. Cronulla cannot afford to lose him.

Gina out of the bottle

Morbid curiosity got the better of us yesterday so we Googled Gina Lynn, the "mystery actress" who apparently hooked up with Gold Coast Titans glamour forward Daniel Conn on a recent trip to Las Vegas. Then we looked up her official website … Oh mother. Let's just say the smoke is still coming out of this columnist's monitor and he is expecting HR to email him a copy of Fairfax's internet use policy. Says Gina, in the welcome on her home page: "You may have seen me in Eminem's Superman video, The Sopranos or in Analyze That but here you will get to see me how you really want to - stripped down, wild, horny and uninhibited."

Say what?

"Are you ready for a brink's drake now?" Asked referee Steve Lyons to video ref Russell Smith during the Titans-Warriors match at Skilled Park. He meant drinks break, we're assuming. Sounded like he needed one.