Feared, respected, idolised. Petero Civoniceva carries all the qualities of fatherhood onto the field, and at various times he's punished opponents as an angry dad does to disobedient children.

But if his eight-month-old son had to endure the same things he did to become a successful footballer, forget about reading Kaden Civoniceva's name in the sports pages in 18 years' time.

Petero, in name and no-nonsense playing style, is like his old man. Petero snr carved out a reputation as a pain-distribution specialist in Brisbane's club rugby competition, flooring several opponents with his sledgehammer fists. Civoniceva, widely regarded as the hardest player in the game, inherited the steel but fortunately not the short fuse.

And while Petero snr is his biggest career influence, he plans never to do what his father did - walk out on his family.

Civoniceva still carries the pain with him. A 13-year-old suddenly thrust into man-of-the-house status, watching his mother Tima soldier on at breaking point, with younger sisters Lily and Lusi to feed, he said goodbye to childhood.

"He didn't leave us in a real good financial position, but my mum did whatever it took to make it work. She became, at that moment, my mum and my dad," Civoniceva says. "It changed me, I had to step up and help my mum out as much as I could. I got a couple of part-time jobs.

"I see my dad when I can and always still love him as my father, but I think what he did was ordinary. Those sorts of things stay with you, I know the hurt I had as a kid growing up is something I never want my kids to go through."

The father-of-three may get his physical capabilities from Petero snr, but the willpower which helped him fight through two-and-a-half years stuck in the Broncos' lower grades comes from Tima. He wanted to walk away many times, but remembering how she took extra shifts on weekends to pay for his junior representative trips was all the motivation he needed to keep going.

"We never went without, and that came down to Mum doing whatever it took, working weekends, doing overtime," he says. "All the hard work she did as a mother allowed me to be where I am today."

It's important to know that story if you want to understand Civoniceva as a player and a man. He is at pains to describe himself as a big softie off the field because so many people expect him to either thump them or grunt when they're introduced to this hulking enforcer.

"It's funny when people meet me and they have this idea of who I am because of how I play," he says. "I like to play hard but off the field I'm the opposite. My family and friends know what I'm like at home, I'm a gentle guy, I love my wife and kids."

Civoniceva married his childhood sweetheart Bonnie 14 years ago. They were both school captains at Frawley College in Scarborough, and they now have three children, Kaden and daughters Tallulah (3) and Ruby (2). Were it not for the heartache he suffered when his biggest hero walked out the door, Civoniceva would not know how important it is for children to have security.

And growing up fast made him tough, and driven. Civoniceva's spirit is evident when the avid boxing fan declares ahead of his 30th Test that he will fight on until selectors throw in the towel on his representative league career, dismissing ideas of quitting on his stool.

When he runs out in the Australian jersey in Wellington on Sunday, the Penrith-bound prop will be only three Tests behind Johnny Raper as the nation's most-capped international forward. It is a testament to his staying power.

"I thought about retiring from rep footy a few years ago, Shane Webcke quit to focus on playing first grade, but I have thought about it and I'll keep going until I don't get chosen, I will let the selectors decide for me," he says.

Civoniceva is now embarking on a change in life and club, after signing with the Panthers for three years. He was disappointed that Brisbane could not keep him, but is now excited about becoming a leader for Penrith and a positive influence on the Polynesian youths in an area renowned for tough upbringings.