IF ANYTHING demonstrates what a politically driven, compromise-riven, nothing's-a-given sport league really is, it was the NRL final between the No.1-ranked Storm and No.8-ranked Warriors at Olympic Park on Sunday.

Think it's impossible to be half-pregnant? Join the NRL. Although Sunday's match was a "home-venue qualifying final" and therefore played on Melbourne's home ground, it was officially an NRL fixture, which meant it was subject to the neutral protocol of a match conducted by the code's administration. The result was an atmosphere akin to a church fete, or as one official put it, "Flatter than a shit-carter's hat".

The Storm abided by an NRL edict that reads, "The ground announcer and video screen graphic will be club neutral and provided by the NRL; mascots will be limited to two per team and no animal mascots are permitted; cheerleaders will be restricted to 14 for both the home and away teams; the use of motorised vehicles for placement of kicking tees will be permitted but must not be sponsored."

Sunday's ground announcements were subdued and the Storm mascot had the zest of a zephyr rather than a cyclone.

At half-time, Storm chief executive Brian Waldron complained to NRL boss David Gallop about the sterile atmosphere. Gallop conferred with NRL chief operating officer Graham Annesley and returned to say, "It will be changed next year."

It may be too late for the Storm. The minor premiership-winning team surrenders home advantage over the next three weeks, travelling to Brisbane for Saturday's final with the No.5-ranked Broncos, a match held eight days after the Broncos' win over the Roosters but only six days after the Storm's loss to the Warriors.

The ground announcers at all four "home venues" were ordered to be measured in their comments after complaints from St George Illawarra chief executive Peter Doust that Brookvale Oval's spruiker, Grant Goldman, was too passionate. Doust feared the excitable and experienced Goldman would inflame the crowd and it would possibly influence the referee and affect his team.

So, in keeping with the parity that pervades the NRL, from salary cap to third-party deals to five clubs playing at ANZ Stadium, all ground announcers were instructed to be passionless.

The Dragons could have dressed Joseph Goebbels in red and white and recreated the Nuremberg rallies at Brookvale and it wouldn't have made any difference to the result.

The NRL's obsession with compromise has invaded the video referee box, where two officials, rather than one, have been appointed for the finals. This is likely to extend to onfield referees next year, thereby doubling the chances of stuff-ups.

Sunday's match turned on a disallowed try to Billy Slater, when he was deemed to have used his hand, rather than his shoulder, to push an opponent. At any time BV (before video), the try would have been awarded, but referees are obsessed with pleasing their peers rather than the players or the public, priding themselves on finding some archaic rule to justify a no-try.

If there is a build-up of excitement inherent in the McIntyre system, with teams not knowing their fates until late Sunday, it was lost on fans in Melbourne.

On Saturday night, Channel Nine screened two movies - Practical Magic and Pay It Forward - rather than the two NRL finals shown in NSW and Queensland, starting the games at 12.10am, in defiance of their contractual obligation to program NRL before midnight. Channel Seven didn't show the Bledisloe Cup either, but Fox Sports did, with none of its three channels taking the NRL.

Insofar as News Ltd half owns both Fox Sports and the NRL, it is a further example of a compromised game producing half-baked outcomes. Gallop said he would "look into it", an undertaking he has made so many times he risks the nickname "Mirrors".

He was more forthcoming about the Warriors result, declaring himself "pleased", adding: "It's put the knockers of the McIntyre system to bed. They said No.8 would never beat No.1."

Of the sterility, of muted ground announcers, no animal mascots, cheerless cheergirls and bland motor vehicles, Gallop promised change. "The away teams in week one next year will have to bear the consequences of all the emotion and promotion of a home game," he said. "In hindsight, Sunday's match was half-pregnant."