The coolest man on Melbourne's hottest March night was Australian formula one driver Mark Webber.
Webber attended the Telstra Dome match between the Storm and Warriors on Monday. He'd spent the previous day disappointed by his forced retirement from the Australian Grand Prix when his Red Bull Racing RB4 broke a rear track rod.
The former Raiders ball boy is a rugby league fan but had little sympathy with the players and their sauna-bath conditions. After all, Webber endures 55 degree temperatures in the cockpit of his car and anticipates even hotter conditions in the Malaysian Grand Prix this weekend.
Encased in his fireproof hood, he is a Webber in a webber.
"It's oppressively hot in your racing suit and, unlike the footballers, there is a restriction on how much you can drink," he said.
"We are allowed 450 millilitres but I'm hoping we can double that for Kuala Lumpur. The humidity will be an additional factor in Malaysia.
"BMW's Nick Heidfeld, the guy who came second in the Melbourne grand prix, had a mishap with his water supply. He pushed the button to release the water in the first half hour of the race and the entire 450 came out.
"By the end of the race, his tongue would have been sticking to the roof of his mouth."
Webber said there were mechanical and human reasons against allowing drivers more water.
With races decided by milliseconds, an additional half litre of weight to a car makes a difference, as does the pressure of the safety belt on the driver's bladder.
While intravenous hydration of drivers is not allowed, many practise it, particularly in what are called "the hot races".
Webber has been unfairly labelled a "choker" by his critics, despite his car repeatedly breaking down. But he doesn't have much air to breathe.
As tennis great John McEnroe once said: "It's called choking for a reason. Sometimes you really feel like you can hardly breathe."
Webber is wedged in a cockpit 45 centimetres wide at the steering wheel and 35cm wide at the pedals and because he is taller than his rivals, it exacerbates the dehydration. He therefore keeps himself fit and has the body fat percentage of a hummingbird.
Pulling up his shirt to reveal a muscled torso, Webber is clearly pleased with his own fitness.
"I work out every day," he said, carefully choosing from the plates being carried by waiters in the corporate area at Telstra Dome. "That's a heart attack," he said, declining an offer of fried rice and cheese parcels.
Webber, who usually moves on to the next grand prix the day after a race, stayed an extra 24 hours to watch the Storm, coached by former Raider Craig Bellamy.
He is particularly proud of his role on the sideline in the 1989 grand final, saying, "My order was to get the ball at taps to Box [hooker Steve Walters] who would feed it on to big Mal [Meninga] before the defence was set.
"I got into trouble with referees a few times."
Meninga concurred.
"He was a very quick ball boy," Meninga said. "You were supposed to put the ball on the sideline but he threw it in.
"He got roused on by the ref a bit but he was only following Sheensy's orders [coach Tim Sheens]."
Webber was intrigued by the roof of Telstra Dome being open despite the venue being air-conditioned. The super-prepared Storm had trained there the previous afternoon and noticed when the sun went down, a breeze cooled the ground.
Compared to the grand final qualifier match against Parramatta, when the roof was closed, the humidity was considerably lower.
"But no cooling breeze came on Monday night and, with the roof open, it was very still inside the stadium," a Storm trainer said. "Some of our big fellows lost 4 kilos of body weight."
Webber joined the players in the dressing room after the match and watched as each was weighed.
The Storm conducted sweat tests 18 months ago to identify players with high sodium content in their sweat.
Insofar as salt helps retain fluid, it's crucial these players be given additional electrolytes.
Before the tests, halfback Cooper Cronk was losing 3kg per match on hot days, a significant loss for a small player. Now, with electrolyte loading, he loses only 1.5kg.
Webber absorbed all this while declining rugby league's historic post-game liquid replenishment.
"He didn't even have a beer," an impressed Bellamy said.
